Age and Culture

Today I turn thirty. Yikes! I never thought I'd be this old. I'm okay with it...well, as okay as anyone can be, I reckon. But it does seem to conjure up old memories when I had to defend my age and culture.

So, I thought - for fun, mostly - to post a blog and the responses I wrote when I turned 25. Originally, the post had something to do with the Olympics. I guess I'm still learning to cope.

Me:

The Olympics are underway, which is a lot of fun. I'm not sure why I like the Olympics so, but I really enjoy watching them and, also, the nationalism they seem to result in.

I was watching Shawn White's spectacular performance on the half pipe the other night and found myself cheering out loud.

It was wonderful.

Immediately following the snowboarding was a tribute to Michelle Kwan, which, honestly, I didn't have a whole lot of interest in, but watched anyway.

The "tribute" started off by saying, "When did Michelle Kwan get so old?" Michelle Kwan is only 25 years old - consequently, an age close to mine. The program went on to tell how, in not so many words, Michelle Kwan should basically lay down and die because she'll never again be the legend she once was.

Needless to say, this pissed me off.

I'm not a Michelle Kwan Fan Club member, but I think that, at age 25, she still has lots of things she is capable of doing. She, like myself, is early in her journey of life. Who cares if she never skates another competition or wins a gold medal; these things are but dust. I know it's very audacious of me to say, but maybe her life isn't as shallow as the Olympics. Shame on her critics for suggesting such a thing.

And shame on us, as Americans, for not valuing our youth and not teaching that the most rewarding things in life are not things at all.

Andrew:

Are you working on your sensitivity to your age? This is not to discount anything you've said above (I think you're right). But I don't think I've once heard you mention your age without at least wincing, or ruffling your feathers. The fact is, Wade, you're not old, and I don't know why you're afraid of being thought you are. (Incidentally, someday, like all of us, you will be old, and then the question will be, Can you be okay with that?)

Sorry. This blog is not my soapbox.

Me:

Nice job, Andrew. You sat your soapbox on my self-esteem and jumped on, you fat lard. :)

I think age matters less and less as it increases, which would be wonderful if all of your friends and associates were the same age, but mine are not. Age seems vastly important to a 21-year-old who is measuring herself against her peers, and the basis by which the world turns to an 18-year-old who is using it to set goals for himself. To me, this idea of using age to measure oneself against others, by any means, be it age or ability or status, is downright pitiful. So, excuse my wincing and ruffling of feathers when I feel like my value in a group is determined by my age.

In all regards, I'm quite happy with being 25, so long as my age is not used to determine what I'm capable of as a person or as a human being. I have a much better grasp on who I am and what I'm doing here now, than I would have ever dreamed of having in earlier years and I wouldn't trade that for anything, not even youth.

In American society, age is very important and, in a lot of unfortunate, but possibly practical, ways, defines who we are as people, if not our social status.

I almost didn't post this because I was afraid it would sound like I was defending myself, which I'm not. I'll admit to learning to cope with my age.

Andrew:

Aha, I see I misinterpreted and underestimated you, my friend. What I suspected was merely some sort of neurosis turned out to be a well-thought-out diagnosis of culture - one that cuts all too keenly to how I see and judge the world.

From the time I became socially cognizant (around 6th grade), I can remember judging myself and others in the way you described above. In groups of friends, people's ages were very important to me. I could feel safe (i.e. dominant) around those younger, and should recognize my inferior status around those who were older. (When I write it like that it sounds incredible, but that's basically the way it worked.) Even in my first years of college, I remember feeling safer around those who were just a bit younger than me, and threatened around those who were older. I probably still fight that tendency to some degree. You're so right about the pitifulness of this situation! How ridiculous we are! Yes, age makes us different in some ways, but it does not set our value and decide our worth!

In the same way, I fall into comparing myself to others physically, intellectually, artisitically... When I'm "better" than those around me in these ways, I feel safe. When others shine brighter, my value is threatened...

Me:

Oh, there's still neurosis - believe me, lots of it.

Thanks for the well-thought-out comment and questions, Andy. I think I appreciate that about you the most, that is, your ability to challenge my thinking and push me a little. Kudos